Pain

I never knew you could feel physical pain in your heart until my precious granddaughter was born still. It felt like a hand squeezing my heart, I could not breathe. The pain that crushed my heart was very real, very raw. I was going through the motions of life wishing it was all a dream. I went to sleep crying and I woke up crying. I would wake up in the middle of the night crying, remembering it was all real. The grief washed over us all like a fog rolling in. It was crushing. It was brutal. It was a pain I had never felt before. I cried for three months straight. I didn't know a person had so many tears. Three years later the crushing pain seems to have subsided replaced by a need to remember and honor Alessa, a need to still buy her a gift every holiday so shes not forgotten, a need to buy new angels for her corner of the room, and a need to hold and kiss a beautiful baby girl who will not get a chance to grow up. We love you sweet baby girl.

Alessa Rose 7-25-2008

A rose bloomed in our hearts today,

and in our hearts it will forever stay.